Why is it that we resist being broken? I think it is the pain, the affliction, the unknown, the stretching, the worry, the ruin, the humbleness, the running and the pulling that it takes to break us down…this is what keeps us from desiring brokenness. This all makes sense doesn’t it? Who in their right mind would invite death and pain and destruction into their lives on purpose? Does God intend on doing this purposefully? Absolutely yes! For different reasons and for different time periods those God uses most he will hurt most deeply.
As I have contemplated Dana and I’s last 10 years we have been through which has included a tremendous amount of brokenness. God has lead us into all kinds of situations and He has lead us out of them as well. We have experienced pain, stretching, deep hurt, ruined lives, the very hand of a providential God molding our vessels into something that He can use. The pain and hurt that yields the most results for a gracious God does not come through light weight trials.
Moses was a successful leader throughout all Egypt from a young age to about 40 years of age. He had been trained by some of the finest minds in all the world at that time. Moses had access to the highest authorities in the land. He could run and play through that palace whenever it pleased him. Then at a time of his choosing he was going to free the Israelites, however, the key words are “his choosing”. In order for God to accomplish all He wanted for the Israelites and the leader He wanted to use for the task, He had to scrap every single last bit of selfish, arrogant, confident, man made success, and ambitious blood from within his body. When Moses was about 80 years of age he had been a sheep herder in the desert for 40 years. Moses was depleted as a man. Moses most likely felt that God would never use him again for anything. At this time, Moses was barely a shell of the man he was at 40. The best university Moses had attended was on the potters wheel of life. For Moses, he was extremely humbled, no arrogance, no confidence in himself at all, worldly success was no longer a thought within his mind and heart, and the only ambition was to make through another day alive. Now, after 40 years God had designed, molded, shaped, beat, and created a man He could use for His greater glory. This would be the shell of a man that He would fill with Himself to free the Israelites from slavery. Did Moses go through a two week training period and then was thrust into the lime-light? I don’t think so…it took around 40 years to get Moses to the point God wanted Him.
King David is another human specimen that God stripped down, molded, beat, and reshaped for His glory. As our culture today might think, when David was pronounced “King” a huge party should have taken place…parade him through town. Be sure to send him on a book signing tour. He should have been commended for such great achievement. However, the streets were not lined people shouting his name as King. This new king could not even live in a palace or the Kings tent. For 10 years David was running for his life. He planted himself in the land of En Gedi where God lead a team of undesirables to be David’s mighty men, his warriors. In En Gedi, David found rest and peace for the long haul. During that 10 years David was prodded, shaken, stripped down, and molded into “a man after God’s own heart”. It was a time of God’s chosing that David became the King he was intended to be. Kings are made by God and put on their thrones.
None of us that want to be used by God will get to that point without the narrow, dark tunnel of pain seemingly enveloping our lives. Darkness tries to block us from God, but each time dark must yield to the light of our loving Lord Jesus. As Steve Farrar has experienced it, “For the broken the Lord is very near and saves those in distress.” Only someone that has been through a deep hurt, deep pain, deep trials, deep worries can express such profound wisdom in a time of great turmoil in others lives. We must always remember what this life is about. The very root of our very existence. What the true success of our lives really is. It is to bring honor and glory to the Lord Jesus Christ with all that we are and all that we have. It is not about us in the least. We are mere vessels to be broken and spilled out. If we think for one moment that any one thing within this lifetime is about us, we have missed the mark entirely.
Brokenness is the best thing that can happen to all of us. To be probed to the depths of our being and scooped out. To be snapped in half when we think everything is going so great. To have a child born with a disease that will require a lifetime of care. To lose a spouse in the prime of our lives. To lose our business, savings, house, cars, and identity will prove to be an emptying experience. At the end of the day we have nothing left of ourselves. As a person once said that “we do not know how much we need God until God is all we have.” Can we know who God really is if we are enjoying nothing but the best of life now on this earth? Sure, each of us can convince ourselves we can, but when you dive deep into God’s word and look back on your life, what is there that sustains us? What is there that has glorified God? What have we experienced that will draw people unto Himself? What kind of education have we really locked into our minds and hearts? Do we really seek out the joy fo the Lord in order to make it our strength?
Looking back at Dana and I’s past 10 years I have some regrets on decisions made, but the Lord lead me all the way to that point and did not condemn me. One thing we have both learned is that no matter how broken we are before our awesome God, He is not finished with us, but actually He is just getting us started. The deep love of a God that chose (adopted/elected) me from before the foundations of the world and took the time to break me down to the core of my being, I could not and would not trade for all the money and success this world can offer. A relationship that has been drawn out by Him…patiently waited upon by Him…new mercy each morning for us, demands my life, my soul and my all.
David said, “It was good for me that I was afflicted.”
-Scott Bailey (c) 2007
En Gedi: Finding rest in the wilderness! 