En Gedi: Finding rest in the wilderness!

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Posts Tagged ‘moms’

Guest Blogger, Dana Bailey: A Brand New Thing!

Posted by Scott on January 11, 2008

Isaiah 43:19.  

“For I am about to do a brand new thing.  See, I have already begun!  Do you not see it?  I will make a pathway through the wilderness for my people to come home.  I will create rivers in the desert!”   (NLT)

I have the 43rd chapter of Isaiah marked in my Bible with the date of 01-30-01 beside it.  I’ll never forget the night that the Lord took me to this chapter.  I was a very fearful and anxious person.   My husband was gone on a short business trip and I was so gripped with fear that he would not return that I couldn’t sleep.  I remember sitting up in bed, grabbing my Bible and telling God that I didn’t want to be afraid anymore.  Then I heard him tell me to go to Isaiah 43.  I don’t ever remember hearing the Holy Spirit talk so directly to me like that before, but I knew it was him as soon as I began reading the first verse, “Do not be afraid for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name, you are mine.”  “WOW!”  I remember thinking.  I fell quickly to sleep that night knowing that my husband would be o’k and I had no reason to fear anything.

Many times since then the Lord has used chapter 43 to comfort my anxious heart.  Verse 19 was one of those verses that he used to remind me that he was working on me and starting am new thing in me.  He has taken my family through very difficult times and this verse has been a great reminder that he is at work.  In the midst of a spiritual desert, he is creating streams of water to nourish and refresh his people. 

But he asks in the verse, “Do you not see it?”  I know that sometimes I am so consumed by the trials that I cannot see the new work that he is starting.  I do not recognize the rivers in the desert because I am too focused on the wilderness.

We are beginning a new year.  Is God beginning a new thing in you?  He has already begun, but can you see it?  No matter how difficult your circumstances may seem, God is at work!  Do you believe that?  Even when the rent is past due or the medical bills are piled high, God is at work…do you see it?  Even when your husband walks out leaving you with the children & the mortgage, God is at work…do you see it?  Even when you lose a child and you can’t bear to even get out of bed, God is at work…do you see it?

Look for the rivers in your desert that are meant to nourish you.  Look for the pathways through the wilderness.  Do not ask him to take you out of the wilderness; you are there to draw closer to him.  Rather, use the wilderness to grow you in your knowledge and understanding of God. 

In verses 20 & 21, Isaiah writes, “Yes, I will make springs in the desert, so that my chosen people can be refreshed.  I have made Israel for myself, and they will someday honor me before the whole world.”

I know that my God’s love for me is so great that I cannot even begin to comprehend it.  I know that he will not take me into a desert and not replenish or refresh me.  He has promised me this.  I also know that he wants me honor him in the midst of my wilderness.  This is not easy, but he never asks us to do anything that he knows we cannot do. 

What is God doing in your life right now?  What are you learning about him that is new?  Do you see the paths through the wilderness that he is making for you and are you being refreshed by the springs in the desert that he has provided for you?  I do not ask any of this without knowing my own answers to these questions.  My family is living in our own desert right now and learning to walk in his pathways and bring honor to him while in our desert has become a daily lesson for us; a lesson well worth learning.  Our lives are a brand new thing and that is very exciting!

I pray that you are blessed by your rivers in your desert this brand new year!

(A river in the Mohave Desert)

For further articles by Dana Bailey goto LivingStones4Moms.com

-Scott Bailey 2008


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Parents Acting Like Teenagers!

Posted by Scott on November 21, 2007

Dr. Mohler’s Blog

“Freak Dancing” — When Parents Advocate Misbehavior

The Wall Street Journal is out with one of the those eye-opening stories that defies common moral sense. It seems that Jason Ceyanes, the 35-year-old superintendent of schools in Argyle, Texas, decided to crack down on sexually-suggestive dancing at the local high school. But, when the superintendent banned “freak dancing,” he got into trouble with some of Argyle’s parents.

Here is how The Wall Street Journal introduced its account of the controversy:

A new resolve by school officials in this booming Dallas suburb to crack down on sexually suggestive dancing — and skimpy clothing — has sparked a rancorous debate over what boundaries should be set for teenagers’ self-expression. Argyle joins a long list of other schools around the country that have banned the hip-hop inspired dancing known as “grinding” or “freak dancing.”

But in Argyle, a once-sleepy farming community strained by explosive growth from an influx of well-to-do suburbanites, the controversy has gotten vicious. Some parents blame the newly installed school superintendent, Jason Ceyanes, 35, for ruining their children’s October homecoming dance by enforcing a strict dress code and making provocative dancing off-limits. Disgusted, a lot of kids left, and the dance ended early.

Mr. Ceyanes says he fears current cleavage-baring dress styles combined with sexually charged dancing could lead to an unsafe environment for students.

“This is not just shaking your booty,” he said. “This is pelvis-to-pelvis physical contact in the private areas…and then moving around.”

“Freak dancing” is well known throughout the nation, and it involves what can only be described as “sexually charged” physical contact and movement. But many of the kids in Argyle were “disgusted” that freak dancing was banned at the homecoming dance, so they left. That might be fairly easy to understand. After all, adolescents are expected to exhibit adolescent patterns of misbehavior. What makes this story so interesting is that so many parents responded by joining their adolescents in immature response. In fact, their protest of the superintendent’s policy is shocking.

As the paper explained, “Many parents support Mr. Ceyanes’s actions. But another vocal faction has been harshly critical of the new superintendent, creating a deep rift in the community. These parents defend the children of Argyle as ‘good kids,’ and say they should be trusted to dance and dress the way they want.”

Here is one of the moral hallmarks of our confused age. Parents defy authority and propriety and justify the misbehavior of their own children while calling them “good kids.” In this case, they argue that these “good kids” should be allowed “to dance and dress the way they want” — even if that means sexually suggestive dress and sexually charged dancing.

Mr. Ceyanes held a public meeting for parents and played a video of freak dancing. “I cannot imagine that there is a father in this room who could watch this video and be all right with a young man dancing with his daughter in that fashion,” he told the parents.

This is further evidence of a trend long in coming. Fashion styles for adult women now mimic those of adolescent girls. Why? So many moms want to act like teenagers and dress as provocatively as their offspring. Far too many parents want to act like their teenagers’ friends and peers, not like parents. Parents, after all, are expected to act like adults, and this is a society that depreciates adulthood and valorizes adolescence.

When a story like this makes the front page of The Wall Street Journal, something significant has shifted on the moral landscape. When parents demand that their “good kids” be allowed to freak dance at school events, the real story shifts from the kids to the parents.


The Wall Street Journal also features this video coverage of the story [go here].  We discussed this issue on Tuesday’s edition of The Albert Mohler Program [listen here].

-Scott Bailey 2007

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*Training Our Daughters in Purity!

Posted by Scott on November 13, 2007

Training Our Daughters in Purity

It is no secret that purity is not being taught enough to our young kids any more.  The pregnancy rate among young girls is only getting worse.  And the age of girls getting pregnant is getting younger & younger each year.  Can you imagine your 10 year old daughter pregnant?  I can’t, but they are out there.  Satan is out to steal our children’s purity.  As mothers we must teach our daughters the importance of remaining a virgin in all physical and emotional ways until they are married.  Today, it is to not just keep them pure for their future husband, it is too keep them healthy also.  There are diseases that can be caught just from kissing much less the obvious ones from being with multiple partners.  This is such an accepted way of life, a passage into adulthood, that to teach against premarital sex once again puts me on the outside of normal according to society.One approach we have taken with our children is to talk to them about what they are doing to their future mate if they chose to be in a physical relationship before they were married.  Saving their self emotionally and physically for their husband is like giving him a gift that no one else has opened.  Does he not deserve her whole heart?  When she stands before her friends and family on her wedding day and she says her vows she wants to bring only her whole self to her husband, not just what is left over after giving pieces of it away to other boys.  Saving her body for her husband is part of God’s plan for marriage.  Just like he wants our whole heart, our husbands deserve our whole heart also.

Click “Purity” for the rest of the story.  For more great articles go to Living Stones Ministry for Moms!

-Scott Bailey 2007

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-10 Needs of a 14 Year Old Boy!

Posted by Scott on October 18, 2007



10 Needs of a 14 year old boy


1. To climb a mountain and look down from the peak.

“God majestic, praise abounds in our God-city! His sacred mountain, breathtaking in its heights—earth’s joy. Zion Mountain looms in the North, city of the world-King. God in his citadel peaks impregnable.”

-Psalm 48:1 MSG

2. To sit around a campfire with team mates and good friends.

 God loves the pure-hearted and well-spoken; good leaders also delight in  their friendship.”

-Proverbs 22:11 MSG

3. To test his strength and his skills on his own.

“But his bow remained taut,and his arms were strengthened by the hands of the Mighty One of Jacob,by the Shepherd, the Rock of Israel.”

-Genesis 49:24 NLT

4. To be alone with his thoughts and with his God.

“The Lord will establish you as a people holy to Himself, as He has sworn to you, if you keep the commandments of the Lord your God and walk in His ways.”

-Deuteronomy 28:9 AMP

5. To reach out and find the hand of an adult willing to help.

“I look to you for help, O Sovereign Lord.You are my refuge…”

-Psalm 141:8 NLT

6. To have a code to live by…easily understood and fair.

“Every word of God proves true.He is a shield to all who come to him for protection.”

-Proverbs 30:5 NLT

7. Play hard for the fun of it…and work hard for the thrill of it.

“It is useless for you to work so hard from early morning until late at night,anxiously working for food to eat;for God gives rest to his loved ones.”

-Psalm 127:2 NLT

8. To have a chance to fail…and know why.

“Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.”

-Deuteronomy 31:8 NLT

9. To have good friends and to be a good friend.

“The seeds of good deeds become a tree of life;a wise person wins friends.”

-Proverbs 11:30 NLT

10. To have a hero…and a vision to measure him by.

“Where there is no vision [no redemptive revelation of God], the people perish; but he who keeps the law [of God, which includes that of man]–blessed (happy, fortunate, and enviable) is he.”

-Proverbs 29:18 AMP

14 year old boys need alot of freedom.  They are caught between boyhood and manhood.  On the one hand they would like to be completely grown up and trusted to make all their choices alone.  On the other hand they really want that security of no worries and mom/dad making their decision.  So, our 14 year old boys are walking on a tight-rope at this age and need us to give them romm, but as these biblical truths suggestion they need our guidance that points them to God’s word most of all.

“Listen, my child (son/daughter),, to what your father teaches you.  Don’t neglect your mother’s teaching.  What you learn from them will crown you with grace and clothe you with honor”    Proverbs 1:8-9

 I found this on the Warriors Hand blog…very good thoughts on a 14 year old boys thinking.  I added the scripture.

-Scott Bailey (c) 2007

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Christianity or Pluralism by Doug Phillips!

Posted by Scott on October 17, 2007

You shall have no other gods before Me. (Exodus 20:3)
By Me kings reign, and rulers decree justice. (Proverbs 8:15)

The Church is at a crossroads philosophically. To be determined is whether we believe that the Lordship of Christ is comprehensive, extending to all spheres and jurisdictions of life, or whether Jesus is Lord over our private lives but does not even want His people to declare His Lordship over this nation. We must determine whether it is our goal to acknowledge the God of the Bible, or just to join hands with the many gods of the world in common cause against “secular liberalism.”

We must determine whether He wants Christians to shelve the Bible in their public discourse and argue for general principles based on the consensus morality of the many gods of the world’s religions, be they satanic or occult, or whether we may boldly mention the name of Jesus Christ in the public square and proclaim the God of Christianity as the only true foundation of our laws and the only true God to be honored in our national landmarks.

We must decide if Messiah is THE King upon whose shoulders the government will be established, or if we are resigned to the ancient Roman notion that all gods are acceptable as long as none demand exclusivity.

One well-known writer has recently suggested that America has no claim to a distinctively Christian law system. In his view, we are a land of many gods. From his perspective, God actually wants there to be many gods running this country. He has even suggested that pluralism is “providential.”

As to the issue of what God has allowed, there is a sense in which this man is absolutely right. God has providentially allowed different influences to arise in our nation. This is providence. Providence refers to the Lord Jesus’ sovereign direction and control over His creation and man. God providentially directs all events. He is Lord over every detail of time, space, matter, and reality. He literally upholds the universe by the power of His word.

In another sense, this brother has made several key mistakes: First, he has wrongly concluded that, because God has providentially allowed evil to prosper, that therefore we are to work to maintain the status quo. Second, he has confused the claims of the many gods with the rights of Jesus Christ over our land. If every man in America was a raging Zoroastrian, Christians would still have to declare that our government is required by the higher law, as revealed in Scripture, to “kiss the son.” Furthermore, the fact that fewer Americans are Christian in the twenty-first century than in the nineteenth century does not mean that our distinctively Christian charters, common law, law systems, and covenants are null, void, or unenforceable.

Providence — there is a great mystery here that we may never fully understand. Though God is not the author of sin, yet he allows for sin and directs every sin and act of evil for His own glory. He is sovereign! So when somebody says that pluralism is providential, we may respond: “In one sense, yes. But only in the sense that the rise of the Nazi Third Reich, the death of Able, the boils of Job, the presidency of Bill Clinton, and the horror of 9/11 were also providential events.”

The fact that God allows and providentially directs even Satan himself does not mean that He approves of or will tolerate the behavior of Satan. Similarly, the fact that, providentially, many gods have emerged as “pretenders” seeking to displace the One True God from His throne as Lord over this nation certainly does not mean that we should declare the defeat of Christianity in America, and theologically, philosophically, and practically cop-out, capitulating to the claims of these false gods. Truth is not determined by majorities. Covenants, charters, and law systems are not rendered invalid by the fiat claim of the invading worshippers of false gods.

God has providentially allowed America to suffer for our sins. An evidence of this providential judgment is the surrender by Evangelical leaders of the rights of Messiah the King, in favor of their desire to sit at the table with the petty potentates who think they are running the show, and to give obeisance to the many gods of popular culture. These Evangelical pluralists claim that they can privately worship Jesus Christ, but that it would be wrong to mention His name in the public square or declare His exclusive Lordship over the nation, unless such references are merely historical that in no way, shape, or form are meant to imply exclusivity.

We must pray that God will providentially wake up our brothers in the Church so that they will no longer be ashamed of the Gospel when it comes to the history, leadership, and the laws of this land. We must pray that, instead of sounding retreat or making common cause with philosophies utterly foreign to Christianity, these men will once again earnestly call for our nation to acknowledge the God of our charters and our covenants and honor the faith of our fathers.

Thus says the LORD, the King of Israel, and his Redeemer, the LORD of hosts: ‘I am the first and I am the last, and there is no God besides Me. And who is like Me? Let him proclaim and declare it; yes, let him recount it to Me in order, from the time that I established the ancient nation. And let them declare to them the things that are coming and the events that are going to take place.’ (Isaiah 44:6,7)

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-Sequel to Waiting Instruction…Boys!

Posted by Scott on October 17, 2007

ggw005s.gifA previous post I have is “Waiting Instruction….Boys!”  I wanted to support the post with the scripture that is was based on and it would not let me inject those into that post, so I am including them in this sequel post for reference. 

Ephesians 6:4 NAS

“Father’s do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”


Psalm 119:29 NLT

“Keep me from lying to myself; give me the privilege of knowing your instructions.”


Psalm 119:34 NLT

“Give me understanding and I will obey your instructions; I will put them into practice with all my heart.”


Over and over throughout God’s word we see God’s instruction to us as dads, moms, parents, husbands, wives, and citizens of our communities. 

Psalm 119:51 NLT

“…I do not turn away from your instructions.”

How do we instruct boys…from the bible.  No matter their level of understanding, trust that the Holy Spirit will take the Word deep into their hearts and plant it there.  Having the kids involved in an AWANA program is great.  They are learning many verses of scripture weekly.  This is planing the Word of God into their hearts and lives.  We as the parents need to help our kids apply that to their daily lives.  Our kids, especially the boys, are looking for direction.  They come up against situations on a daily basis that none of us as dads and moms had to deal with until we were well into our adult years. 

Boys no matter what age want to be strong, courageous, helpful, leaders, and useful.  The scripture is the best way to develop them into the godly man God has planned for them.  So, I encourage anyone raising boys to remember to build them up in a positive but truthful manner that is bible based…that is the only foundation they can really rely upon when times get tough in the future.

-Scott Bailey (c) 2007


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-Do You Have an Ebenezer?

Posted by Scott on October 16, 2007

ebenezer.jpgDo you have an Ebenezer?

ByDana Bailey



Do you know the old hymn, “Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing“?  It has always been one of my favorites, but there was something in the second verse that I just didn’t get, but never really questioned until recently. 

The second verse says, ” Here I raise mine Ebenezer; Hither by they help I’m come…”

So, I wondered what is an “Ebenezer”?  Well, I googled it, found out & was really excited by what I found.

For the rest of this story you can go to Living Stones 4 Moms!

This post is one from my wife’s site.  She is a terrific writer and encourager to moms.  So, dads, if you have a wife that may be discouraged about her mothering role or life in general you can refer her to www.LivingStones4Moms.com and I think she will find refreshing there.

-Scott Bailey (c) 2007

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-One Dads Encouragement to Single Moms!

Posted by Scott on October 15, 2007


I have reflected on the single parenting issues and I am constantly reminded in the paper, news, email, Internet and our neighborhood about a third of our homes out there have children raised by brave single moms.  This is not an easy venture to undertake.  Different events have lead these moms to raise their kids while being single.  No matter what the cause of their “singleness” they are still undertaking the role of mom and dad to these children and have been appointed by God to do so.  I do not have to speak from experience to say this is a daunting task.

“The LORD watches over the alien and sustains the fatherless and the widow…”

-Psalm 146:9 NLT

I have been researching online, books on the fatherless, and the scriptures.  Everyone seems to come up with a cause, but only God’s word speaks of how to cope as a single mother.  In one story we don’t hear much about Jesus’ earthly dad, Joseph, beyond about the time Jesus was 12 years old.  He relied on His heavenly Father from that point on.  This is a great lesson for all of us parents.  It is only by the grace of our heavenly Father that any of our kids turn out good.  For the most part, as parents, we will fail in comparison over and over again.  As hard as we try we will fail as parents many times.  Yet in the end, God’s graciousness shines through and these kids make us proud parents. 

l1d64jcate2mjocajekc56ca7me1jucafrzrhkca5vq1h0calaasjycapm11pmcakw3wdqcae3s628cae4n9v0cafqx8i9cahh01iaca0t6lcnca54zm3xcaw47u0ucaj67vhbcad6yxszcaxl9oti.jpg  God has a plan for each of our kids.  These plans were created long before the earth was spoken into existence.  Our kids will be something when they grow up all for the glory of God.  We usually never have an idea until they are about 40 years old as to what that really is…I can say that since I am about to turn 40!  We do know that God has placed these kids with us to help mold and shape their future.  He put these kids into our homes so that we would give them everything we can from what God has created in us to be.  Our experiences are from God.  These experiences can be shared with our kids in order to instruct them.  Now, the plan that God has for our kids could mean that they are raised in a home with both the biological father and mother.  This could mean they are raised in a home with one step-parent and one biological parent.  This could also mean they are raised in a home with only a mom or a dad….otherwise known as the single parent.

 “This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

-Joshua 1:9 NLT

For the single mom, in the beginning I am sure it will be overwhelming to think about raising these kids alone.  The range of emotions that will fill your life at the moment of realizing you are going to raise these kids alone can only be imagined by someone that has experienced the same range of emotions.  TO help cope with this reality would be to find any moment of quietness in your day to just be still…don’t read anything, say anything, don’t have a radio or tv on, just be quiet and clear your mind as best you can to prepare to listen for God’s hope, encouragement, and light.  In this quietness which may only be a minute or two, you may experience His breath upon your head, the fragrance of His spirit being near you, or simply just a calm, but reassuring  silence that He is near.  After a moment of stillness you can begin to meditate or read from the Bible whatever you are studying.  If you do not have a place to start, go to Psalm 1:1 and begin there…you will find peace and inspiration for the road ahead in Psalm.  Try not to move too quickly through the passages.  Chew on every word.  Smell each page as you read.  Imagine with your mind the words that are taking place in each verse.  Meditate on this for a long while.  Now, you are ready to pray to God.  Your prayer may not vocalize as you thought it would, but your heart will be in much better shape to go before your heavenly Father.  You will find a new strength about raising these kids by yourself.  Now, begin to introduce each child to their heavenly Father.  Involve them in reading about the attributes of God.  Help them along to experience and get to know their heavenly Father in a way that most kids do not know God.  I cannot stress enough the need for your kids to know God above all else. 

The kids strength will rely on their belief in God and what they believe about Him.  The kids character will be shaped by what they read about concerning God, what they observe in your life about Him,  what the Bible says about God, how the church you attend worships God, and how they pray to Him.  For kids being raised by single moms the pursuit of holiness is crucial to their purity and security in the future.  Place into their life a confidence in God’s strength not their own strength.  Remember, you do not have to involve them in every event that the schools and churches put on the calendar.  Do not bend to the kids pier’s pressure as to sports, birthday parties, and other events.  If you do not guard this area of your families life it will only further frustrate you in your quest to raise these kids as best you can.  You only do what you can do and not disrupt your family unit.

23114766.jpg  The boys will want to play organized football someday.  Please, moms, listen to what I am telling you on this.  LET THEM PLAY FOOTBALL!  Not until they are about 13 years old though….I believe this to be the best age to start a boy playing football.  Yes, they may get hurt.  It’s alright to let them get hurt.  I know that it is a mothers tendency to want to protect your kids and not let them get hurt, but this is a right of passage for a boy.  The scars on their arms and legs become trophies down the road with their friends.  Raise these boys as you would want them to be as young men.  A young man that has never experienced pain and hurt will not step up and protect his family.  They will not step in front of that on coming car to save their girl friend, wife and/or children.  They will not be willing to fight over seas or in the country to protect our freedoms.  They will not want to take any chances that might injure them in the future.  The decisions you make now on this subject will be huge in determining the kind of young man your son(s) will be in the future.  Since about one third of families today are single family homes, then we need moms to be tough in this area.  This is the role a father would take, but since you are the mom and dad, you must put aside the mothering instincts in this area and like a dad would do which is to embrace their yearning to play a rough sport and slap them on the back enthusiastically to say “YES” they can play.  Again, it is important how you tell them they can play as well.

1-boys-fishing.jpg  Another reality about boys is the fact that especially when they are smaller they like dirt, worms, snakes, mice, anything that creeps and crawls upon the ground.  They will fill their pockets with these varmints…please enjoy these moments with a grimly smile…they love to be “earthy”.  This is just how boys are.  Don’t forget that boys like to go fishing.  Either take them or find a man that you trust to take them fishing…this is important.  I refer you to read more on the things Dads want Moms to know about boys article.  Click on About Boys here to go directly to it.  This has some great short quips about boys.  You can also click on Encouragement and read from a mother of 10 children perspective on raising boys…my wife Dana!  

Finally, moms, I want you to know that you are up to this task with God’s strength upon your life.  You may need to pull in grandpa, uncles, brothers, men in the church, neighbors, or whomever you can trust as a man to assist in raising your son(s).  It is great to have a manly figure in your child’s life on occasion.  This can help reinforce your parenting as well.  You are the parent, but it does not hurt to ask for help as God prompts you to do so.  Point these boys to read and study on great men in history.  Point them to great men of today they can read on.  Use videos as well to help these boys establish a mentor role model male.  Some great men I would recommend your boys getting to know are Theodore Roosevelt, George Mueller s8oytgcav4tqhmcagi1i0eca2ga8cyca05kqsfcay73doicajqiof1caevznjrca3rpygxcaz4rzq4ca9f51boca0g9olicalrsadeca0xxlsmca7srkxycaehdq01cam5v1etcafspj8jcau7fzjz.jpg, Charles Spurgeon, Ronald Reagan 8ifg22caej91s5caarj4lzcad522vgcatemf76cac2uv0lca6a1i8mcarvwhbrcacxitr0cag50kvfcaxu500ucafndfdpcahaldymca7e00ahcapnjeatcasiihs5casfh51zcae4jfnwcabgpb3c.jpg, Sir Winston Churchill, Chuck Swindoll, John Piper, Steve Farrar, Tony Evans, Dr. E.V. Hill, and John Wayne 130-157john-wayne-posters.jpg.  Books and movies to see are End of the Spear, Tombstone, True Grit, Tucker, Miracle, Seabiscuit, Its A Wonderful Life, and many others that show true masculine heroes and sacrifice.  Your influence on these boys growing into young men will depend on you as a mother not “feminizing” your boys at all.  Treat them different than your girls.  Girls should be feminized, but boys need to be rough, dirty at times, tough, smelly, and anything else that separates them from the girls…the tender moments will come and those are good to.  Books (other than the Bible) for you to read that can give you ideas for your boys and their raising are Standing Tall by Steve Farrar, King Me by Steve Farrar 88om5rcaz3azfbcajpj6o1cacz0jf9ca2o5ynmcaowlw67cabud7nnca4vaio9caua3h8xcago51xwcaoxe753cat3d6grca0erzgicayaq2a9caznsun3ca772y0eca1zrndwca0hkv1mcas4395x.jpg, How to Ruin Your Life by 40 by Steve Farrar bo17rmcayeyszscaw79jscca65hx9pcajekrmmca3lbolrcaj88ctccazr4zizcadlb5u0cat3i544cag7kii8ca9ei4vqca0cgttjca9m9q8fcaa1okohca8ypnvmcala8ghdcaxx2nw8ca8jaeoa.jpg, Man to Man by Chuck Swindoll05y2g7cauiz91pcaj6vr25ca47tviacacwj3m4camy0yp8cac39iuvca2i28ecca5l79rbcakd0dn5caci8ytocahsf1krca3m7937caapgt1bcans2kapca8ncrv0camccp07ca2w2awpca2a39d9.jpg, Talking with My Father by Ray C. Stedman, The Letters of Theodore Roosevelt For His Sons, The Bible Lessons of John Quincy Adams For His Son, What’s the Difference by John Piper, George Mueller on Answered Prayers, and many others.  A great book for you to read along with your younger boys is The Dangerous Book for Boys by Iggulden.  

Moms you have been singled out (no pun intended) by God for a wonderful task.  Your singleness is not by chance or for your destruction.  It is by design that you are single raising these boys.  God has a special adventure for you with these boys.  This adventure called life will be one of the most rewarding times in your life if you will embrace this challenge head on.  God is now in the role as the true Father of these kids…make sure they are brought up understanding this.  Point them to His sacrifices, His plan for them, His fresh mercies each day, His unfailing love for them, His creation in everything they can see and hear, and point them to His word in the Bible.  Keep plugging on…it will not be easy, but you can raise godly sons that will glorify God.

Look for resources online to help you through these years as a single parent.

-Scott Bailey (c) 2007

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-How Can We Be Devoted Dads?

Posted by Scott on October 11, 2007

hirrdoca9xxxmscazy4aavcaaxwlqzcain69vncacra3naca8jxed1caihcsrgcayl7zj7ca7ro4wycaxoew2bcat32pwwcaxjg8k8cakl3ggacarnt8o9ca74v9oucat1y04gcaw6gbohcarekypv.jpg   After 17 years of marriage is seems like only a few months have gone by.  My wife and I have 10 children ages 16 down to 1….6 Boys and 4 Girls if you are wondering and my wife birthed each of them one at a time.  Anyway, this Blog Site was produced so that I could write down my thoughts on  daily basis, but also to put together some of what I think are the greatest theologians and preachers of all time and their thoughts along with my own ramblings.  You can simply go to one place and research for hours on hundreds of subjects.  I have been to all the sources I include on the right hand side of this site.  In my devotion to my family, I wanted to make sure I can give accurate biblical advice to my children.  By studying deeply into God’s word and comparing it to what my mentors of the past have said about helps me to grow in my walk with Christ.  This increases the devotion I have for my God, which spills over in a deep devotion for my family and friends. 

In 2 Chronicles 6:14 it tells us:

“…there is no God like you in all of heaven and earth.  You keep your covenant and show unfailing love to all who walk before you in wholehearted devotion.”

His unfailing love for us should translate into a wholehearted devotion of our Lord.  This is the least our families deserve from their husbands and dads, don’t you think?  We must remember that our God is all knowing, all powerful, always has existed, always will exist, makes no mistakes, is loving, is kind, is generous, is forgiving, will judge, will discipline, is long-suffering, patient, merciful, counselor, the light of the world, creator, and much more.  I could go no for paragraphs about the attributes of God.  I think you get the picture though.  We serve an absolutely awesome God.

In my own life I have always been seeking a deeper devotion with my Lord.  It seemed like I never could grow to the point that I really wanted to dig that deeply.  However, in the past two to three years, circumstances that the Lord has lead me into have increased my desire to know Him more.  These circumstances were and in some cases still are difficult to go through.  The result is exactly what He intended…a deeper faith that has me thirsting for more of Him.  Part of this transformation is the bible based church He planted us in.  The pastor and men’s leader both preach and teach from God’s word.  It is not based on “feelings” or the “prosperity gospel”.  These men bring to us the richness of God’s word in truth.  It is the truth that also has created the desire to want to know more and more about my God. 

Gentleman, each us will react to crisis in our lives based on what we know and think about our God.  If we have kept our God in a tiny box until the day we think we need Him, our view in that time of crisis will be that our God is not big enough for the task.  On the other hand, though, if we have always known our God to vast, awesome and huge then no matter what crisis may come our way we will trust and know that the God we have encountered over the years can handle anything.  As a matter of fact He already knew this crisis was coming.  He allowed the crisis in our life and to further blow us away, He lead us directly into that crisis. 

“The same God that has lead us into this crisis is the same God that will lead us out of this crisis!”

Rest assure that we are not walking through anything that goes on in our lives alone.  Nothing catches God by surprise.  His mind is far beyond our comprehension.  It is in these moments of crisis that can last an hour or years that create either a well of devotion in us or a complete abandoning of our faith.  These are the times when we and our families find out if we are truly a child of God or simply an imitation follower of God.

So, do your really want to be a devoted dad?  I will encourage you to start reading and meditating on God’s holy word daily.  As it states in Deuteronomy 8:3 (NLT) when speaking of the Israelites

2 “Remember how the Lord your God led you through the wilderness for these forty years, humbling you and testing you to prove your character, and to find out whether or not you would obey his commands. 3 Yes, he humbled you by letting you go hungry and then feeding you with manna, a food previously unknown to you and your ancestors. He did it to teach you that people do not live by bread alone; rather, we live by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord. 4 For all these forty years your clothes didn’t wear out, and your feet didn’t blister or swell.”

As it says here, we should live by every word that comes from the mouth of God.  So, unless we are spending that precious time in God’s word, how can we be a devoted dad?  It is impossible! 

Next, take time to out to pray about what God has revealed in His word.  I believe God speaks today through His written word.  So, if we are meditating constantly on His words rather than he newspaper or other secular books we can hear what God is saying to us.  Ever wanted clear direction..this is how we can receive direction.  This will change our perspective as we pray.  It is amazing how small our crisis will become when we spend some time reading and pondering on the scriptures….God dwarfs the crisis in just this way.   

Matthew 11:28 (NLT)

28Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.”

This is not for discussion.  Jesus says to bring our burdens to Him.  His word will encourage us, fill us, and spread His love upon us.  The load we carry as dads and husbands is greater than it has ever been, but Jesus did not specify, He simply told us to bring them to Him.  He understands that we cannot carry these loads.  He understands we are always on the brink of loosing it mentally.  This is why He wants to carry these loads, so we can stay devoted to Him and devoted to our families.

Finally, guys I want to tell you that after these two actions, spend time with your wife first and your children.  Make that time for them.  They all want the man God placed in their life to spend quality time with them.  They do not care one bit if you are making a bunch of money, driving a nice vehicle, moving up the corporate ladder, and anything else.  Your family, men, want you.  They want to know what God is speaking to you on a daily basis.  They want to experience you on a physical and mental level…not via phone or email all the time.  The kids need to be able to touch their dads face, smell his after-shave, experience his loving touches….they need you and I in the flesh.  Our wives, they need our encouragement, to speak with them about what is on our hearts, and minds.  They, too, want to smell us, feel us, and have us there to sleep with at night.  This will finish out the creation of a devoted dad. 

How Not to Be a Strict Father

Consistent discipline is essential to raising kids in the way that they should go. A father who does this will sometimes be called strict. Let me tell you what I don’t mean by a strict father. Strict fathers aren’t mean to their kids.  Strict fathers aren’t aloof from their kids.  Strict fathers are not distant from their kids.  Strict fathers aren’t harsh with their kids.  Strict fathers aren’t physically or verbally abusive to their kids.

On the contrary, appropriately strict fathers love their kids. Strict fathers are affectionate with their wives and children. Strict fathers praise their kids and emotionally support them. Strict fathers are in balance. They balance training and discipline with a host of positive qualities that give their kids a context of unconditional love and acceptance. 

–Steve Farrar

Steve Farrar is the author of ten books, including the best-sellers Point Man and Finishing Strong.  Learn more at SteveFarrar.com

The reality is, guys, that God wants to bring to the top some devoted dads that will brin Him honor and glory.  He would like to see some men that do not care how the world teaches their children, spoils their children or how the world reacts to crisis…men willing to make sacrifices.  God wants men that want to do the right thing always.  Men that will spend time with Him and obey His calling upon their lives.  To be a devoted dad is not easy, but it is the most rewarding part of our lives next to spending eternity with Christ.  In the end what a legacy we can leave our children and grand-children…you know in truth how I have glorified my heavenly Father once I am gone from this earth means more to me than all the money and success this world can offer.

-Scott Bailey (c) 2007

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-Dads Reminder to Moms About Our Boys, Part One!

Posted by Scott on August 22, 2007

toad boy

What Mothers Need to Know About Their Boys:

  1. Boys are very forgetful.  They need a mother to help them remember many things such as to wear socks, underwear, brush their teeth, etc.  Now this does not mean for moms to “nag”, but gently remind them more than once of those things. 
  •     There is nothing like getting to church and looking down to see your 9 year old not wearing socks under his khaki pants, because he forgot or because I only told him to put his shoes on,  I never said socks. 

2.   When boys reach the age of young manhood around 10 yrs old, they will began to pull away from mom more as they yearn to be more independent.  This in no way indicates that the boys love their moms less, but they are not nearly as huggy and kissy and do not need mom to hold their hand while crossing the parking lot anymore…that becomes embarrassing to them at this point. 

  •       I got a very cold shoulder from my 13 yr old when I tried to hug him before he got on a bus bound for Colorado with a church group.  He hugs me plenty in our home, but that is where it stays.  But, my 7 yr old, Ben, has to hug me everyday at least 10 times.  “I don’t think I have hugged you enough yet, Mom.” 

3.  Boys are created wild at heart.  They want adventure in every aspect of daily life, they enjoy an enemy to fight and defeat, a damsel in distress, weapons for battle to help secure their territory and the territory of those in distress…they desire to be that “knight in shining armor”.  This may cause splinters in hands or bruises on the forehead, but rest assure they will heal.  Boys scars are like his trophies….let him get a little scarred up in life. 

  •     I will never forget our summer vacation a few years ago.  We rented a house in Silverton CO for a week.  This quaint little tourist town was perfectly set right in the middle of the mountains.  Our house backed up to one of those mountains, so you know what my boys did all week.  One day, we took a walk through town where they boys found some play rifles at a toy store.  Now that mountain became San Juan Hill and they were the Rough Riders, conquering the Spaniards.  I watched countless times from the back door as they would run up the side of the mountain. Then one of the younger boys would trip & fall and come tumbling down.  He would get up pull the grass out of his mouth and run back up.  His story to me would be, “Did you see me roll down that big mountain?  That was cool!” 

4.  Boys like to pickup any strange looking creature they come across.  This includes, but is not limited to, snakes, frogs, spiders, worms, lizards, insects, caterpillars, mice, rats, and the such.  Most of these will end up in the pants pockets of the boys…. from a boys prospective, what are pockets for?  So, always look through boys pockets before washing those pants. 

  • This is great advice.  I still remember looking in the washing machine and reaching in to pick up what I I thought was a leaf.  It turned out to be a lizard, with no eyes & all shriveled up!  I don’t know if it went in the washing machine alive or not, but it didn’t survive! 

5.  Boys like things that move fast, make loud noises, and fly high in the air.  Do not be shocked if your boy wants to go faster, higher, and make a louder noise….this is just simply a fascinating challenge to any real boy. 

  •   Occasionally my mother or my mother in law will come and get some of the boys for a few days.  It is always a nice rest when they take some boys.  The house is quiet.  But it just isn’t right until they get back home & the noise level returns to LOUD.  Boy noise is different than girl noise.  It is a wild and masculine noise. 

 6.  Boys enjoy being thought of as “handy” around the home.  Mom should ask him to help her if at all possible with opening a jar, taking out the trash, feeding the animals, mowing the yard, hammering in nails for pictures (be careful with this one), gluing something back together and anything like this.  Boys take great pride in knowing that mom thinks he is big enough to handle tougher and tougher jobs….a sign that he is “growing up”.

  •  The best way to keep our sons out of trouble is to keep them busy.  Josh just got back from spending 4 days with my parents.  My dad kept him plenty busy with little odd jobs and Josh had a great time.  He felt very useful, needed and grown up.  Our 5 yr old can unload a dishwasher faster than his 12 yr old sister.  He is learning the reward of self satisfaction.

 7.  Boys need heroes to emulate.  Great men that rescued ladies in distress, always ended up winning in the end, were the good guys, fought mighty when in battle, were brave and heroic, men of strong faith that did not back down from the biblical truths, missionaries that took great risk in order to share Christ with a particular tribe, cowboys of the old west, military greats, and so on.  Even fathers and grandfathers can be placed in this category if he is involved in the boys life. 

  • My husband loves to read about dead people.  He loves reading their life story and learning from their faith in God or from their mistakes.  Then, he shares this with the rest of us. When he is studying about someone in the Bible and he gets excited about them he will ask you, “Did you know____?” and then proceed to tell us what he has learned.  He has created a hunger in his boys to know more about the hero’s in the Scriptures.  He is our boys’ hero because they know that Jesus Christ is his hero.

By Scott & Dana Bailey (c) 2007

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