Train the children to be virtuous citizens!

In reading from the 1599 Geneva Bible that I love to refer to, Proverbs 22:6 reads like this “Teach a child in the trade of his way and when he is old he will not depart from it.”

Then I look to John Calvin’s commentary on that verse and he states “Bring him up virtuously and he shall so continue.” That is profound to this verse. Bringing up a child virtuously so he continues in the ways of his training is terrific.

What does virtuous training mean though. I looked deeper into this training to see what the possibilities are and this is what I found. Virtuous is to be morally excellent and righteous in the sense of this passage. It also relates to raising our children to be effectuous. Effectuous is to have the power produce a desired effect or remedies. I like this as well…we should be training our children to be effectual in their lives towards Christ. We want them to have great effect over others and situations to the point they desire to have a Believer around because of the great effect they have in their lives.

Then I dug deeper into this virtuous training of our kids and discovered they are to be trained to be potent which to have great authority or influence. How great is that? By training our children in a virtuous life in the ways they go we want them to have a godly influence over the people they encounter. Our children will be good honorable citizens by way of virtue in the ways of Christ. This is why God instructs us parents to train them while we have them under our roof.

However, another category under the virtuous topic stunned my thinking on training. It is a reference to training them to be chaste. This is an old word, but still applies today. Training our young men, especially, to be chaste is training them to be pure in thoughts and actions (modesty). Further commentary on this for them to be “innocent of unlawful sexual intercourse”. Now, that puts it pretty point blank to me. We are to be instructing our kids from very young to they leave the home in many righteous ways, but surfacing to the top would be training them in sexual purity both in mind and action. Now, training this way is not what stunned me, but what stunned me was that it so specifically surfaced as a very important training for our kids. When you look at our culture, even within some church circles, sex is taken so lightly that our kids do not take it seriously either. Yet, from the very research I have done, this specifically was pointed out in the training. We have much to train our kids, but along with biblical truths, we need to be specific to the kids on each virtue especially sexual morality. Kids can find this battle difficult as the internet has brought every sexual perversion ever thought of right into our homes many times undetected, but we as parents are to do battle with this if we are to give our kids the proper training. Warning: DO NOT expect your public school to give this kind of training to our kids…please, DO NOT think they are going to be trained to be pure in thought and action at school.

Parents’, training our kids is not easy, but it is an area we need to take serious. Food to ponder on isn’t it?

Scott Bailey (c) 2009

Who do you want in your army? (From the Train up our children series)

My studies and research into Training our children is an eye opening experience.  We as parents too often have regarded this training too lightly and without any personal sacrifice.  We have expected other institutions and someone else to do most of the scholastic training, the church to do much of the spiritual training, and that has left us parents with too little time to train our children properly in the way the Lord intends that we train them.

 

In Proverbs 22:6, “Train a child in the he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” (NIV) To “Train…” could also be translated “Start a child in the way he should go…”  It is our job to start our kids from birth to the time they are out of the house in the way they go.  We are to point them in the right direction based on their inclinations, their bents, their personalities, their characteristics that God has planted in them from birth.  The instruction we give them in order to accomplish this endeavor for some 18 years or so cannot be done in one thirty minute interval each day throughout the week.  It requires that we spend time understanding how they are made and build this training around what God has wired them to do.

 

The daily 30 minutes (30 minutes may be too generous) each parent gets with a child to possibly inject something serious, something educational, something spiritual becomes impossible.  The first task a parent has to do each day is deprogram the humanistic worldliness that has been injected into them for 8 hours each day to start with.  Then deprogram the extra-curricular hours spent with others daily.  By the end of each day a parent may have 15 to 30 minutes to give the child something meaningful to remember.  My question is, can that short period of time overcome the barrage of hours they are being fed something contrary to what us parents should be teaching them?  The government run institutions by law cannot inject Christianity into our kid’s lives.  By virtue of the laws it has passed these institutions must teach secular humanism as the religion of the land which leads to socialistic attitude which will soon embrace socialism as the better way…all this will come from our kid’s public education.  While the church slept our country moved away from God into secular humanism decades ago.  Now, you are not allowed to pray in the schools without trouble.  You cannot bring a Bible to school without trouble.  You cannot inject any kind of bold Christian verbiage without possibly being disciplined, expelled, or fired from the school system.  You must teach evolution as proven fact while not even mentioning creationism as a possibility.  This is because the schools no longer hold to any kind of godliness at all even with Christian’s within its walls which is having no real measurable impact for the kingdom of God and will not as our time here draws to a close.

 

If we were to go into battle as families based on a holy war…in other words Christians vs. Secular Humanism or socialism, who would you want in your army?  Would you want someone on your team that has been trained 75% of their early life from say 6 yrs old to 18 yrs old in socialism, worldliness, humanism, and anti-Christianity?  In Ephesians 6:4, “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”  This type of training is first and foremost in the ways of the Lord, not how to get a good college education, how to become a good little employee or how to be model prisoners (another subject in and of itself).  I will not get into the other trainings that are coming from government education, but most of all, we as parents must make every effort and time to inject as much biblical training as we can on a daily basis if our kids must remain in a public school.  This may mean that we men stop playing golf as much or at all, stop fishing or as much, stop hunting or as much, stop spending so much time at the bars with the buddies having a beer (another subject all by itself), etc.  It may require we make tremendous sacrifices during our children’s adolescent years and teen years in order to be sure we have exhausted every chance to inject the proper training in the ways of the Lord, even if the kids must remain in the public school system, which I pray that many will reconsider.

 

Going back to who would you bring to battle with you, I refer to this training that is cross referenced to Abram in Genesis 14:14 where a relative, Lot and his family, was captured and Abram (future Abraham) called out for the 318 trained men born in his household and pursued the enemy with them.  These 318 men had been born under his roof and trained by him, not someone else.  He entrusted a serious situation with those whom he could trust, those trained and born under his roof.  This was an important mission for Abram and he could not depend on just anyone, but relied on those he could depend on and that was those men trained by him.  It was a long and difficult journey that required men that Abram knew their character, their bents, their personalities, their inclinations, their trainings, and most importantly, Abram could depend on who their allegiance was too, the Sovereign God.  Abram knew these men would perform, he did not worry for a moment that something a government school had taught them could come back to compromise this mission…Abram took this mission serious and Abram had taken these 318 men’s training serious years before.  Abram had not sent them off for someone else to raise, to train, to inject ungodly thoughts into…Abram sacrificed his time to train them or someone within his household he trusted to train.  This is why it is even more important that we as parents do the training of our children now and take the majority of every available moment with them to train them in the ways of the Lord above anything else. 

 

The training referred to in Genesis 14:14 crosses over to Deuteronomy 4:9 “Only be careful and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.”   The Word of God does not leave much for discussion when it comes to training and teaching the children.  We are commanded to train our children in the way should go.  Whatever direction we send them daily, whatever actions we take on a daily basis more so than what we say on a daily basis will influence the way they will go.  How important do we really see our children and the future of Christianity in the world?  Do we see our children as true blessing of God to be cherished, watched over, trained, and even guarded?  I am afraid the message most kids get from parents today is that they are burden, parents can’t wait until the kids go back to school to get out of their hair, the parent(s) are always travelling while someone else keeps the kids, time spent with them is secondary to the parents work, golf, hunting, fishing, workout at 24 hour fitness, ladies night out or men’s night out, etc.  I know this will smash some toes and I am not saying any of these activities are wrong in and of themselves, but the message sent by many that I have encountered over the years is not far off from what I am talking about…that “kids are a necessary evil God has put upon them as punishment for some sin in their past”.  I have heard this on more than one occasion or some variation of that.  I am sorry, but that is the message coming across.  The kids are reacting to the message from the actions of their parents far more than the message coming from their parent’s mouths.

 

We have an 88% failure rate in our future young people.  That is huge and if it is continued will result in catastrophic events in our country in the near future.  Parents will find themselves as the enemy of their own children when it comes to Christ vs. humanism or socialism.  It will put dads against their sons and mothers against their daughters.  Jesus said He did not come to bring peace, but a sword.  Jesus is the sword that will divide households, families, friendships, and even churches.  If we as parents do not take our job in the training of our children more serious, we are going to see more and more households divided by the very subject of Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior vs. worldliness, secular humanism, socialism, entitlement, riches, self-glorification and gratification, etc.  Not all kids will turn out this way, but an alarming 88% of them have the potential and in my humble opinion it is because of the failure of us parents not training our children in the ways of the Lord while turning our heads away and allowing the world to have all the time it wanted in training them in the way it wanted them to go.  Satan’s world wants your children to love to be rich, to want more stuff, to more entitlements, to want more government security, to desire to be a pro athlete, super model, world scholar, to want to look good all the time, to be more educated socially, to be a social party person, to want to be healthy all the time, to want more and more of this world while pulling them seriously away from the ways taught in the Scriptures. 

 

While the world and its system train the kids to be good socialist, God’s Word has commanded a different training…training in the ways of God which are drastically different than the ways of the world.  Why are we considered as aliens in this world?  Does much of the church today look foreign to you?  Do we teach our children any differently than the world does?  It is hard to see much light in this world of darkness even in the church today.  As parents our job is far too important to leave to the world.  God is using us to train the kids away from the world…yes, we have to live in this world and He did not say that would be easy either, but while we are to obey the laws of the land, we also to obey God’s holy Word in training our kids.  Our kids are future missionaries no matter what they do for a living.  They need to be taught that their job first and foremost is serving God. For our young men, when they have a family their first mission field is their wife, then their children then they can minister to those outside their homes…not the reverse.  The same can be said for the young women.  Individually, their first goals should be in service to Christ…God will take care of their living if they will work honoring God in all they do and that requires they be a very good employee yet knowing making money is not their priority, but serving God is.

 

In conclusion,  does training those hours per day in the ways of the Lord guarantee our children will turn out godly, no!  Only God can guarantee anything.  However, this sacrificial training us as parents is commanded to do give the proper tools to work with.  It is this training that the Holy Spirit uses in order to take them deeper into a relationship with God, making it harder for Satan to take them away.  Chances are greater, even if they do move away for a short period of time from the ways of God, in returning to their faith someday to grow in godliness and serve their Lord from then on into eternity.  The old saying “you can pay me now or you can pay me later” can be translated in this situation “you can pay the price now in training your children or you will pay a hefty price later for not training your children”.  The challenge is this; will you consider a different way of educating your children by seeking the face of God on this matter?  Can we commit to giving up activities in our own lives that take time away from a deeper training of the children in the ways of the Lord?  Are we willing to admit that all the excuses we as parents use in order to not change anything we are doing in regards to the lack of training our children get is sin and needs to be repented of?  This challenge is strong I know, but the future results of us having a godless generation is at stake here.  True Christian parenting does not resemble the world, the public schools, the social institutes in our country or anything else…Christian parenting has specific instructions from Scripture and we will be all the better for being obedient to it.

 

Scott Bailey (c) 2009

Holiness A Way of Life…For the Authentic Believer!

A couple of mornings in my quiet time I was reading and studying through the Heroes of the Faith in Hebrews 11:1-40 and continuing on into chapter 12 as well.  Something interesting was shining through each verse and my awareness of God’s strong calling for us men to return to a holiness the world has not seen or heard of for centuries…these men of old lived by a faith in someone that was unknown in that day and time and unseen…the coming Messiah, Jesus Christ.  These early faithful fathers considered a strange life to be worth more than all the wealth in the world.  Many were willing to sacrifice everything they had in order to follow the commands of God.  We must ask ourselves if we are willing to give up our wealth, our job, our golf game, our constant trips away from the family, our social life, and so on in order to be obedient to call of God on our lives.  Not many are willing, but some are.

All these people spoken of here were living out their faith in God and the coming Messiah at the time of their death.  They did not waiver in their faith.  They desired to be holy and not compromise their holiness for anything less than their very best for God.  Each one of them considered themselves to be strangers or aliens while on earth.  They had not conformed to the world’s way of living…they stayed the course.  These men and women understood their role as being made after the image of God. 

Any of us that are today striving to live our lives in holiness, set apart for the service and work of God our Father must ask ourselves if we are really walking in faith daily?  We live in the greatest nation on the face of the earth in the way of safety, security, freedom to worship as we please and where we please and even the ease of life.  However, conformity to the world is even easier here.  It is much easier to live as everyone else does.  It is much easier just to go along with what everyone else is doing.  Send the kids to public school that teach them to be everything but a holy Christian, so you don’t have to answer those questions that homeschool parents get asked.  Put the kids in every sport and activity known to man so they don’t have be pressured by their peers at school or church..just conform to the world’s way of life and it will be much easier.  Remember, only have two children…if you have a boy and a girl you now have the “perfect” family…I mean you must know better than God how man kids you can handle…us guys we surely know what is best for our families, God just pushes us out here and kind of lets us go in all directions and hopes we end up where He planned.  Play golf every weekend because your buddies do and they might laugh at you for being a “family man” if you did not join them.  Guys, it is much easier to just conform to the ways of our society than it is to live a holy life…we must admit this to ourselves.  Now, guys you you know all that sounds absurd, but that is how many Christians live and wonder why they have no impact for Christ.  Let’s stop and think about the early Christian’s and what they went through for the cause of Christ.  Stop and think about your life and whether it is pleasing to our heavenly Father who has told us to be “holy”.

“…others were tortured and refused to be released, so that they might gain a better resurrection. 36Some faced jeers and flogging, while still others were chained and put in prison. 37They were stoned^[a]; they were sawed in two; they were put to death by the sword. They went about in sheepskins and goatskins, destitute, persecuted and mistreated…”  Hebrews 11:35-37

These early Christians were our examples of how an authentic Christian should live.  The difference Christ has made in our lives should be obvious to those around us.  It could lead to beatings, ridicule, imprisonment, torture, etc., but in our society today most likely just very opinionated people lashing out is what will happen.  How may of us are willing to live in holiness with a threat hanging over our heads, because of our faith.  The Scriptures tell us that “the world was not worthy of these.”  Can this be said of you and me?  Are we living such a life that we are willing to take the jeers from others including other so called believers?  Are we willing to be an alien in this world to the point of being taken to court over it or even imprisoned for the Christ sake?  These are serious questions we all must ask ourselves.

Holiness was worth going through some of the most horrible torture the world could think of to many of the early Christians.  Moses regarded disgrace for the sake of the coming Messiah of greater value than all the treasure in all of Egypt.  Rahab was willing to risk her and her families life to assist the godly men of God.  Enoch was rewarded for being the one who pleased God and was taken away to heaven without experiencing death…holiness was evident in his obedience to God’s word.  He understood that it was impossible to please God without being obedient to Him.  Noah built the ark in holy fear of God who commanded him to build it.  Each of these people and many more were considered holy before a perfectly holy God.  They understood the risk, but also believed in the reward…God Himself!

To be disciplined by God is to be loved by God.  He must sanctify us before He uses us and He is disciplining us to experience in His holiness.  These hardships and disciplines are brought upon us to produce a holy righteousness and a peace that surpasses the masses understanding.  In this quest for holiness, God intends on training us so that we can share in His holiness.  He intends the bride of Christ (the Elect, the Sheep, the Chose ones) to be holy when He returns.

In conclusion, this life is worth living only if it is lived out for God and Him alone.  Everything we do in this life should be for the glory and honor of our most holy God.  Our holiness is important to God in pointing the way for others to an authentic faith in our Lord Jesus Christ.  We must ask ourselves a question each and everyday…what am doing today that is showing my holiness before our almighty God?

“Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.”   -Hebrews 12:14

(c) Scott Bailey 2008

-One Dads Encouragement to Single Moms!

        

I have reflected on the single parenting issues and I am constantly reminded in the paper, news, email, Internet and our neighborhood about a third of our homes out there have children raised by brave single moms.  This is not an easy venture to undertake.  Different events have lead these moms to raise their kids while being single.  No matter what the cause of their “singleness” they are still undertaking the role of mom and dad to these children and have been appointed by God to do so.  I do not have to speak from experience to say this is a daunting task.

“The LORD watches over the alien and sustains the fatherless and the widow…”

-Psalm 146:9 NLT

I have been researching online, books on the fatherless, and the scriptures.  Everyone seems to come up with a cause, but only God’s word speaks of how to cope as a single mother.  In one story we don’t hear much about Jesus’ earthly dad, Joseph, beyond about the time Jesus was 12 years old.  He relied on His heavenly Father from that point on.  This is a great lesson for all of us parents.  It is only by the grace of our heavenly Father that any of our kids turn out good.  For the most part, as parents, we will fail in comparison over and over again.  As hard as we try we will fail as parents many times.  Yet in the end, God’s graciousness shines through and these kids make us proud parents. 

  God has a plan for each of our kids.  These plans were created long before the earth was spoken into existence.  Our kids will be something when they grow up all for the glory of God.  We usually never have an idea until they are about 40 years old as to what that really is…I can say that since I am about to turn 40!  We do know that God has placed these kids with us to help mold and shape their future.  He put these kids into our homes so that we would give them everything we can from what God has created in us to be.  Our experiences are from God.  These experiences can be shared with our kids in order to instruct them.  Now, the plan that God has for our kids could mean that they are raised in a home with both the biological father and mother.  This could mean they are raised in a home with one step-parent and one biological parent.  This could also mean they are raised in a home with only a mom or a dad….otherwise known as the single parent.

 “This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

-Joshua 1:9 NLT

For the single mom, in the beginning I am sure it will be overwhelming to think about raising these kids alone.  The range of emotions that will fill your life at the moment of realizing you are going to raise these kids alone can only be imagined by someone that has experienced the same range of emotions.  TO help cope with this reality would be to find any moment of quietness in your day to just be still…don’t read anything, say anything, don’t have a radio or tv on, just be quiet and clear your mind as best you can to prepare to listen for God’s hope, encouragement, and light.  In this quietness which may only be a minute or two, you may experience His breath upon your head, the fragrance of His spirit being near you, or simply just a calm, but reassuring  silence that He is near.  After a moment of stillness you can begin to meditate or read from the Bible whatever you are studying.  If you do not have a place to start, go to Psalm 1:1 and begin there…you will find peace and inspiration for the road ahead in Psalm.  Try not to move too quickly through the passages.  Chew on every word.  Smell each page as you read.  Imagine with your mind the words that are taking place in each verse.  Meditate on this for a long while.  Now, you are ready to pray to God.  Your prayer may not vocalize as you thought it would, but your heart will be in much better shape to go before your heavenly Father.  You will find a new strength about raising these kids by yourself.  Now, begin to introduce each child to their heavenly Father.  Involve them in reading about the attributes of God.  Help them along to experience and get to know their heavenly Father in a way that most kids do not know God.  I cannot stress enough the need for your kids to know God above all else. 

The kids strength will rely on their belief in God and what they believe about Him.  The kids character will be shaped by what they read about concerning God, what they observe in your life about Him,  what the Bible says about God, how the church you attend worships God, and how they pray to Him.  For kids being raised by single moms the pursuit of holiness is crucial to their purity and security in the future.  Place into their life a confidence in God’s strength not their own strength.  Remember, you do not have to involve them in every event that the schools and churches put on the calendar.  Do not bend to the kids pier’s pressure as to sports, birthday parties, and other events.  If you do not guard this area of your families life it will only further frustrate you in your quest to raise these kids as best you can.  You only do what you can do and not disrupt your family unit.

  The boys will want to play organized football someday.  Please, moms, listen to what I am telling you on this.  LET THEM PLAY FOOTBALL!  Not until they are about 13 years old though….I believe this to be the best age to start a boy playing football.  Yes, they may get hurt.  It’s alright to let them get hurt.  I know that it is a mothers tendency to want to protect your kids and not let them get hurt, but this is a right of passage for a boy.  The scars on their arms and legs become trophies down the road with their friends.  Raise these boys as you would want them to be as young men.  A young man that has never experienced pain and hurt will not step up and protect his family.  They will not step in front of that on coming car to save their girl friend, wife and/or children.  They will not be willing to fight over seas or in the country to protect our freedoms.  They will not want to take any chances that might injure them in the future.  The decisions you make now on this subject will be huge in determining the kind of young man your son(s) will be in the future.  Since about one third of families today are single family homes, then we need moms to be tough in this area.  This is the role a father would take, but since you are the mom and dad, you must put aside the mothering instincts in this area and like a dad would do which is to embrace their yearning to play a rough sport and slap them on the back enthusiastically to say “YES” they can play.  Again, it is important how you tell them they can play as well.

  Another reality about boys is the fact that especially when they are smaller they like dirt, worms, snakes, mice, anything that creeps and crawls upon the ground.  They will fill their pockets with these varmints…please enjoy these moments with a grimly smile…they love to be “earthy”.  This is just how boys are.  Don’t forget that boys like to go fishing.  Either take them or find a man that you trust to take them fishing…this is important.  I refer you to read more on the things Dads want Moms to know about boys article.  Click on About Boys here to go directly to it.  This has some great short quips about boys.  You can also click on Encouragement and read from a mother of 10 children perspective on raising boys…my wife Dana!  

Finally, moms, I want you to know that you are up to this task with God’s strength upon your life.  You may need to pull in grandpa, uncles, brothers, men in the church, neighbors, or whomever you can trust as a man to assist in raising your son(s).  It is great to have a manly figure in your child’s life on occasion.  This can help reinforce your parenting as well.  You are the parent, but it does not hurt to ask for help as God prompts you to do so.  Point these boys to read and study on great men in history.  Point them to great men of today they can read on.  Use videos as well to help these boys establish a mentor role model male.  Some great men I would recommend your boys getting to know are Theodore Roosevelt, George Mueller , Charles Spurgeon, Ronald Reagan , Sir Winston Churchill, Chuck Swindoll, John Piper, Steve Farrar, Tony Evans, Dr. E.V. Hill, and John Wayne .  Books and movies to see are End of the Spear, Tombstone, True Grit, Tucker, Miracle, Seabiscuit, Its A Wonderful Life, and many others that show true masculine heroes and sacrifice.  Your influence on these boys growing into young men will depend on you as a mother not “feminizing” your boys at all.  Treat them different than your girls.  Girls should be feminized, but boys need to be rough, dirty at times, tough, smelly, and anything else that separates them from the girls…the tender moments will come and those are good to.  Books (other than the Bible) for you to read that can give you ideas for your boys and their raising are Standing Tall by Steve Farrar, King Me by Steve Farrar , How to Ruin Your Life by 40 by Steve Farrar , Man to Man by Chuck Swindoll, Talking with My Father by Ray C. Stedman, The Letters of Theodore Roosevelt For His Sons, The Bible Lessons of John Quincy Adams For His Son, What’s the Difference by John Piper, George Mueller on Answered Prayers, and many others.  A great book for you to read along with your younger boys is The Dangerous Book for Boys by Iggulden.  

Moms you have been singled out (no pun intended) by God for a wonderful task.  Your singleness is not by chance or for your destruction.  It is by design that you are single raising these boys.  God has a special adventure for you with these boys.  This adventure called life will be one of the most rewarding times in your life if you will embrace this challenge head on.  God is now in the role as the true Father of these kids…make sure they are brought up understanding this.  Point them to His sacrifices, His plan for them, His fresh mercies each day, His unfailing love for them, His creation in everything they can see and hear, and point them to His word in the Bible.  Keep plugging on…it will not be easy, but you can raise godly sons that will glorify God.

Look for resources online to help you through these years as a single parent.

-Scott Bailey (c) 2007